I’m a fraud….. well at least that is how i feel. It’s been just over 7 weeks here and i love it and hate it all with the same passion. We don’t have a place of our own and we don’t really have the money to get one right now. Spring is when we have the time and money to move. We are not homeless but we are out of sorts, living in two tiny bedrooms on the third floor of a bed and breakfast. On top of that we are working here at this bed and breakfast in exchange for housing which means there is no money coming in. The only days that people want you to work in a small beach town on the end of the cape in the middle of december is on the weekends which is when we cover the house. There is the tug of war that pulls me to stay present and enjoy the down time and there is the forty two year old that is screaming that “we have no money, no home, no space to create art and we are running out of time.” My husband feels the same pressure only his time clock is closer to fifty and he has a life threatening illness that lingers behind the theatre curtain.
Soup kitchens, dreams of my artist studio and daydreaming of my own line of recycled clothing to be happening right now and paying for our adorable shaker house, thats my daily routine. Oh but wait tomorrow things will all change i just found out, why? Because its going to snow, thats why. More will be revealed they say and so we shall see and so we shall keep you posted.
Ok, I know its all a bit dramatic, but I am leo and he is a gemini, so we are a mystical triad of dramatic emotions and stories. All is good and just for today I have a roof over my head, food in the belly and a little money in the bank. I am grateful to be alive with good health and a husband who loves me. If you are reading this and have comments please let me know what you think. Happiest holidays everyone.